Making the bed!

So do you make your bed every morning, when you are just going to jump back in later that day? 
I don't ... my mother told me that I couldn't leave the house unless I made my bed.  I didn't but she really didn't want to keep me home from school so she made it. 

I don't make our bed now and thought I was just being lazy, Ken does pull the covers up but I just found out that actually it is a healthy habit to NOT make your bed!  ... WHAT you say???

According a Kingston University study, that while an unmade bed looks scruffy, it is also unappealing to dust mites.  Research suggests that the dust mite can not survive in the warm, dry conditions of an unmade bed.  Researcher Dr Stephen Pretlove says that mites can survive only by taking water in from the atmosphere using small glands on the outside of their bodies. Something as simple as leaving the bed unmade during the day can remove moisture from the sheets and mattress so the mites will dehydrate and eventually die.

I really don't care if the bed is made or not .. yes it looks neater but usually no one is in our bedroom.  I do straighten up the covers since Ken takes them all at night ... he says it is cause he is cold since I run the fan but he sleeps in sweats and a head band ... I can't figure why he needs to steal the covers too!!!

Mother-IN-Law

Watching Everyone Loves Raymond!  .... Marie!  What a woman!!! And Debra ... their relationship!!! And then there was AMY .... a little competition!

How does that have an effect on our marriage???  Your marriage???

Mother-IN-LawS!

I'm a mother-in-law ... my mother was a mother-in-law and that is where I learned how to be one ... I always thought that she loved my sister-in-laws more than me!

Oh but I was so wrong

... my mother never loved my sister-in-laws more than me ...  I really think she loved us all the same.

I love my daughter-in-law the same as my daughter because she loves my son! And if I love my son than I love my daughter-in-law equally.

Ken's Wants!

What do I want?  You got most of it right:  a steak dinner (with carrot cake dessert), Steelers season extended (only if the fantasy football season was extended too), and marital activities every night (bingo).  I really don’t care if I’m independently wealthy, but I would love a job that involved constant organizing.  And no, I wouldn’t want a team – that means I would have to share the fun.

How many of you out there have a trophy wife like I do?  Isn’t it great to have hot, gorgeous woman living in the same house as you?  Eye candy every day!  For those of you who aren’t in my shoes, you have my sympathy.  And Sue isn’t just beauty only.  She’s intelligent, witty, caring, engaging, fun, and on and on…

I don’t have a big house, or lots of money, or fame, or my youth.  But I’ve got a special lady who has blessed me with 30 great years of marriage.  Fellas, it doesn’t get any better than that.

What Sue thinks Ken Wants?

So what does my honey want most?? The obvious!  A steak dinner, Steelers Season Extended, Marital activities every night!

I even did a poll on facebook and the results of the poll were 100% in agreement with my above statement ... 

So can you prove me wrong in stating the obvious, am I correct that are your top three? 

I think the fourth thing on his list would be to be independently wealthy, but still have a job that he could go to when-ever he wanted.  That job would be organizing and sorting stuff in a warehouse.  He would have a team but he would just have them moving his "stuff" from one shelf to another.  Or would you have a team?  No I don't think so ... so I take that part back.

So how's that Ken? 

Quote! Yes True!

Matrimony is a process by which a grocer acquired an account the florist had.  ~Francis Rodman

Ken says ...

We all know what men want. I don't have to say it, do I?

But is that all we want?  No there is more... Let's see if Sue knows what I want.

Sue ... click off Criminal Minds ... and write a list! 

Her Needs

Ken's list yesterday touched my heart!  I can't believe how blessed I am to have a man so wonderful!

What do I want from my husband?  Flowers, candy, dates, jewelry, exotic trips?  These things are nice and yes I would love them ... for special occasions or just because.  My husband does give me flowers and candy, just because, but I'm still waiting for the exotic trip.  We have talked about it, even got our passports about five years ago with the plans to go somewhere but never did.  Am I sad about it ?... sometimes but really I not heart broken over it.  In 30 years of marriage the most exciting trip was to Arizona for a friend's wedding.  It was great fun but we were distracted by the fact that I had been misdiagnosed with a heart problem just before we were to leave for the trip.  We couldn't do any cool hiking since we were afraid I would need to be hospitalized.

So what is the one thing I would take to a deserted island?

LOVE

The most important thing I want from Ken is love.  I've heard it from many Christian experts that women want love and men want respect.  My therapist says that WE all have two emotional needs, to be loved, to have a purpose.  I think  we all want the perfect love that has no strings attached.

Early in our marriage, when my husband said, "I love you." I heard, "honey, we are going to be alone tonight, so want to get it on?"  Love = Sex in my mind ... but that isn't at all what he was saying.

He took me out to dinner and a movie for that! 

just kidding

Nor do I want that "I love you"  to have chores attached  ... like the charge bills aren't enormous or you cleaned the house and did the laundry, made me delicious dinner, so ... I love you ...

I want to know it just means "I love you."

I need to know he loves me and only me in a way that no other woman in his life has ever experienced from him.

No sister, mother, grandmother, daughter, co-worker ... just me, his wife. And if I don't know that or I feel that I'm in competition with one of those other women then I begin to feel unsatisfied with our relationship and try to find other ways of fulfilling that love.

SHOPPING COMES TO MIND!

I'm not putting the onus on him alone, I take responsibility here.

In the past, I have felt threaten by his other relationships. There were times when he would give other women attention, family illness or work related situations, and my perceptions of these times needed to be kept in perspective.  These jealous feelings can be found in the form of deep rooted insecurities that have been nurtured over the years and at times, I have not allowed them to be fulfilled by the Savior.

We have worked on this for 30 years together and I can say life gets better everyday. 

Also this love that I desire needs to be a gentle love, not demanding, or "I'm the leader of the family and what I says goes around here!"

Cause I would say ... yeah ... "goes right out the window!"

Gentle love.  And Gentle Leading.

So where do I get my backing for what I am saying? 

First, Ephesians 5:25 Paul gives instruction to the husband; Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.  Then again in verse 28, Paul says, So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
That is what I want, to be loved ... above all else to be loved, no matter what I do ... and I know I've done some stupid things.   

Second, I am reminded of the story of the woman caught in adultery that was presented to Jesus.  I love how he did nothing but draw in the dirt, all the while they were asking him if they could stone her.  And I don't think they were calmly asking ... probably yelling!  When he did finally speak to the crowd, it was only 15 words, one sentence, then back to the dirt.  Of course if you know the story ... everyone left her alone with him and he forgave her sins.  The story is in John 8 

Only one word describes His actions to me ... Gentleness!  His Gentleness brought her out of her sinful life.  

I have only one item on my list ...

Gentle Love!  

Ken's gentle love has kept me going for 30 years!  I am so blessed! 

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966